People remember different things from weddings, from the radiant couple to the adorable ring bearers, the hungover groomsmen to the tearful parents. Often, though, it is a well-chosen piece of music that one remembers most. We asked some friends to offer recollections of moments at wedding ceremonies they have attended or been a part of.
Don Dagenais: Decades ago, some friends invited their guests to a “pre-wedding party” a couple of days before the scheduled service. … Somebody put in a CD of the Wedding March from Mendelssohn’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. … The couple paraded into the room in full wedding dress, the minister stepped forward with a Bible, and they held the ceremony right there. It was a trick: The guests had actually been invited to the wedding.
Pat and I got married in a small ceremony on the campus of Cornell University. I was a law student at Cornell at the time, Pat was a student at Columbia studying library science. The organist, a friend, played Trumpet Voluntary by Purcell, “Air” from Water Music by Handel, J. S. Bach’s Little Prelude in C Major, Fugue in G Major, and Pastorale in F Major, and for the recessional, March en Rondeau by Marc-Antoine Charpentier. The music was quite lovely.
Heidi Van: Being around theater people we do our fair share of show tune love songs. “Sun and Moon” from Miss Saigon and “Come What May” from Moulin Rouge: Both these songs were sung at my wedding by the incredible Katie Gilchrist and Tim Volk.
Martha Lowe Courtney (Paul’s cousin): In the 1980s a friend asked me to sing the “Wedding Song (There is Love)” at her wedding, which was held in a Protestant church. The rest of the ceremony was very traditional. At the rehearsal, the organist let me know, mostly by her attitude, that she strongly disapproved of secular music in church. After she heard me sing … she said it was a beautiful song and admitted that she had not heard it before.
Jan Kraybill: One of my most memorable wedding experiences deals with an “act of God” that changed the focus of our music-making, in fact changed the focus of the entire ceremony. This was an evening wedding in a beautiful church, and much planning and finances had been invested to make it perfect. A few hurdles had arisen, and everyone was completely stressed out. The bride had just made her way down the center aisle, and BAM!, a huge clap of thunder, and BOOM! all the power went out. What happened next was magical and wonderful. This group of people, who had been so stressed and at each other’s throats minutes earlier, started working together to make a bad situation better. Since the organ had no power, I and the soloist gathered up our music and went to the piano. People moved the candelabras closer to the pastor so he could see … and around the piano so the soloist and I could sing and play. The congregation gathered closer in the center of the darkened sanctuary. The wedding was transformed from a high-stress, high-profile event into an intimate, simple ceremony focused on love.
Lisa Hickok: When my daughter got married in Virginia, we had the wonderful benefit of bringing two of Park ICM’s finest (Gustavo Fernandez Agreda and Diyorbek Nortojiev) to perform before, during, and after the ceremony. One of the pieces they played was a violin and cello arrangement of “Edelweiss.” It was what I sang to my daughter every night for many years, so she requested it while we walked down the aisle.
Sanna Cass: I composed a wedding song for my son Brannan and his bride, Tracy Widmar. … When my daughter Liz, who now sings opera, sang my favorite line, I melted. “If the stars should fall, and night seemed dark at all, your smile would light my heart and fill the sky.”
Anne Potter Russ: Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring was played on the St. Paul’s Episcopal Church organ by dear friend (the late) John Ditto, as I walked down the aisle to my now husband of 34 years.
William Baker: When my wife Laura and I married we enjoyed a great Lutheran high mass. The William Baker Festival Singers, directed by Melissa Shallberg, sang the Introit by Edward Grieg, “God’s Son Has Made Me Free.” Knowing that I like festive and furious organ introductions, my organist friend Ernest Oelkers came out of the intro with a thrilling fantasia on “Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee.” … Many years later, hearing those pieces brings me to happy tears.
Lolita Lisovskaya-Sayevich: One of the most moving moments I experienced during a wedding was my closest friend’s entrance in an Orthodox church, accompanied by How Fair This Spot by Sergei Rachmaninoff, in the luminous recording by Anna Netrebko. The music’s quiet radiance and expansive lyricism seemed to suspend time, transforming the bride’s entrance into something deeply intimate and transcendent.
Elizabeth Suh Lane: A very special moment of music that comes to mind was at my own wedding. … I was living in London then, but we held our wedding here for my parents. My very good friend Adrian from the London Symphony Orchestra came to Kansas City to perform in my wedding. He performed Elgar’s Salut d’Amour, which I love and is perfect on its own.
Trilla Ray-Carter: When you’ve been around the block a time or two … you learn not to take the small stuff too seriously. For one Kansas City couple, that philosophy extended all the way to the altar. Their wedding was never going to be a stiff, by-the-book affair. This was a mature couple who had lived enough life to know that love, when you find it again, deserves to be celebrated with a wink and a smile.
Susan Haynes Klankey: I had a Brass Quintet from UMKC Conservatory play at my wedding in 1983 at Loose Park Rose Garden. I had them play from the portico at the north end, and I walked around with my dad under the archway … and ending just south of the fountain. It was magical! They played for 20 minutes before the wedding … and then they played Trumpet Voluntary in D for my entrance. It was perfect for an outside wedding.
Ben Spalding: My own wedding in Kansas City in 2008 featured amazing choral music with brass, organ, and congregational hymns. Our favorite selection was “Let the People Praise Thee, O God” by William Mathias, for choir and organ. Composed for the marriage of HRH The Prince of Wales and Lady Diana Spencer, it was extra special to have this in our ceremony.
Dmitri Atapine and Hyeyeon Park: A musical moment that stands out very clearly from our own wedding was Beethoven’s song Ich liebe dich (“I Love You”), WoO 123, performed during the ceremony. … Hearing it in that setting had a very strong emotional impact on both of us. The piece came at a quieter point in the service, which made it feel especially intimate and personal. … In the context of the ceremony it felt deeply meaningful without feeling overstated.
John Schaefer: Many years ago, at First Congregational Church in Columbus, Ohio, the Choir’s soprano leader and oboist John Mack from the Cleveland Orchestra performed Bach’s Wedding Cantata. The wedding couple were Robert Woods of Telarc Records and renowned oboist Pamela Pecha. There surely is a richness when supremely gifted musicians collaborate to create a beautiful wedding.
Kurt Knecht: The bride and groom were quite determined to make their ceremony “gothic.” The Bridal party came down the aisle to the Andante Recitativo from Mendelssohn’s Sonata No. 1. After that, the Bride came down to the opening “Introduction—Choral” from Boëllman’s Suite Gothique. The altar guild ladies still talk about it.
Sascha Groschang: Last year I played a wedding for two gentlemen. The ceremony was lovely, but during dinner, they both had their dads give speeches. They spoke of the pride they had in their sons and the bravery they displayed in coming out to their religious parents. … The love felt in the room was palpable. My quartet then played, “Born this way” by Lady Gaga, as requested, from the grooms. I still get teary eyed thinking about it.
