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The ceremony is over and it’s time to relax. You’ve trod the aisle, donned the rings, and remembered most of your vows. As you make your way into the reception hall, take a breath, and step onto the dance floor, the last thing you want is more stress.

That’s why a growing number of couples are reaching out to dance professionals before launching into their first dance, or their father-daughter and mother-son dances. Because quite often all eyes will be on you at these moments, and you will be grateful if you have given it as much attention as you have all your other nuptial details. 

Like all wedding plans, this should be about the bride and groom. “It is their dance, and they should make it whatever they want,” said Carlye Stone, who runs The Ballroom KC with her husband, Patrick. “We try to keep a very low-stress environment, keep it fun.” 

Few couples are looking for an overly “choreographed” first dance, as this can add anxiety to the day. “Most just want to feel good and confident about dancing together,” Carlye said. The goal is to teach couples “how to get onto the floor,” she said, “how to lead and follow, how to do a dip.” 

Parents, too, are seeking lessons for their dances these days, and many studios offer packages of multiple sessions tailored for various combinations of family members. Some couples opt for group dances that engage an entire family, provided enough of the party can be assembled beforehand.

“Every couple comes in with different needs, and so we offer a consultation to begin with,” said Amy Haarer, who together with her husband, Tavier, runs the Fred Astaire Dance Studio in The Village at Briarcliff. “So that’s where we begin personalizing it and tailoring it to each couple’s needs.” 

Couples are sure to look their best in a First Dance that is designed especially for them, according to Monica Van Hoecke, owner and studio director of Arthur Murray Dance Studio of Kansas City. “Typically we’ll recommend that they do something preset,” she said, “create a loose outline that they can deviate from as they practice it together.” 

Monica reminds couples that this is one of the wedding memories they will most cherish. “In 50 years’ time … one thing that is going to be really important to you is that video of your first dance,” she said. 

Lessons are usually around 45 minutes long, and studios recommend beginning them six months before the wedding. Of course not everyone will have that much lead-time, and emergency measures are available: two back-to-back 45-minute sessions, for example, in particularly dire cases. 

“We normally do packages of three, five, and 10 lessons,” Carlye said, “depending on how much detail they want to put into the dances.” The Ballroom KC is actually a collective of multi-skilled teachers who give classes at any of four studio spaces around the metro. 

If a bridal couple feels especially confident on the dance floor, they may well request a showstopper: as long as they are prepared to put in the work. “Some come in and say, ‘You know what? I want something that will make people stop talking and watch our dance,’ ” said Amy, whose 5,000-square-foot studio is one of nearly 300 franchised Fred Astaire Studios around the world.  

At the other end are couples who barely dance but just want to look good. “You don’t want your first dance to actually be the first time you dance together,” Amy said with a laugh.

There is rarely a bride and groom who cannot find a personalized way to charm their gathering — often through a spontaneity that has been crafted with preparation. And although some feel that an overly prepared dance can look stiff or robotic, “when you’re taught by the right people, that’s not really the case,” Amy said. 

Most are looking to master a few basic steps, after which “the remaining lessons have to do with making sure it looks good with the music,” Amy said. “Making sure they’re facing the right way, and making sure that when they end the dip they’re not facing an empty wall, or the DJ.”

Ballroom studios tend to specialize in one or more of the 10 standard International Ballroom styles: waltz, foxtrot, quickstep, tango, Viennese waltz, rumba, samba, paso doble, cha-cha-cha, and jive. But invariably these instructors will possess a much wider range.

If someone brings in a selection of bachata or merengue or even hip-hop, they will find a way to coach it. “We have ideas up our sleeves, just from experience,” Amy said, “and we have access to resources.” 

Instructors are even prepared to help with song selection — although Carlye said that “most of the time couples come in with the songs they want to use; and if not, we’ll give them advice about how to find what they need.” 

Dance lessons are not just about the wedding. Many studios find that, once the wedding revelers have dipped their toe into the water, they may continue pursuing ballroom dance long after the wedding is over. 

Dancing is fun, after all, and the joy and social interaction of a wedding can easily overflow into everyday life. “People sometimes use a wedding almost as an excuse to try a ‘new hobby,’ ” Amy said. “A family member might say, ‘My nephew’s getting married next year so I have a reason to come in a get a little bit more comfortable on the dance floor.” 

To reach Paul Horsley, performing arts editor, send an email to paul@kcindependent.com or find him on Facebook (paul.horsley.501) or X/Instagram (@phorsleycritic). 

— By Paul Horsley

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SOME LOCAL DANCE STUDIOS FOR WEDDINGS 

The Ballroom KC

Four locations on the Kansas side

theballroomkc.com

theballroomkc@gmail.com / 913-303-8347

Fred Astaire Dance Studio

4131 N. Mulberry Drive, Suite 100, Kansas City MO 64116

fredastaire.com/kansas-city-north

kansascity@fredastaire.com / 816-325-3225

Arthur Murray Dance Studio

9217 Pflumm Road, Lenexa KS 66215 

kcarthurmurray.com

913-599-4444

American Ballroom Dance Studio

3654 W. 95th Street, Leawood KS 66206

americanballroom.net

lindel@swbell.net / 913-648-5454